today & everyday

my challenge today is how to say what i mean, and to be brief.

that's one of the great challenges of poetry of course, and you all know how i like to record those moments when a poem intersects my real life perfectly. sometimes those moments are truly, rarely, devastatingly accurate. for just a bit you can forget to breathe and your whole body says, gah, that's it!

the German poet, Ernst Stadler died in 1914 on the Western Front, killed by a British shell. the poem following poem, "The Saying" is a translation {hence, an imitation} by Stephen Berg of Stadler's original poem, which ends with the line, "Mensch, werde wesentlich!" ("Man, become substantial!").

The Saying

In an old book

I stumbled across a saying.

It was like a stranger

punching me in the face,

it won't stop

gnawing at me.

When I walk around at night,

looking for a beautiful girl,

when a lie or a description

of life or somebody's fake

way of being with people

occurs instead of reality,

when I betray myself with

an easy explanation

as if what's dark is clear,

as if life doesn't have thousands

of locked, burning gates,

when I use words without really

having known their strict openness

and put my hands around things

that don't excite me,

when a dream hides my face with soft hands

and the day avoids me,

cut off from the world,

cut off from who I am deeply,

I freeze where I am

and see hanging in the air in front of me

STOP BEING A GHOST!

:: :: ::

and anyway, who out there is fully awake? who is living out every second, confronting fear and earnestly seeking understanding? i think there are such people. but not me. i think i am mostly half asleep.

the NPR program that's often on when i'm out driving the kids to and fro is a SoCal production called Air Talk with Larry Mantle. this week he was asking for people to call in with definitions of patriotism, and so i wrote out some of my own. they may be influenced somewhat by some of what i've heard lately on the topic of immigration {that states like GA, that are following AZ's assault on illegals, are now dealing with the reality that Americans simply aren't willing to do the jobs left vacant, no matter what the unemployment rate is} but i think these three points capture some of how i feel about being a good citizen.

a patriot is someone:

:: whose love of justice and mercy does not end at her nation's borders

:: who says, really, "let all that breathe partake," in the just fruits of freedom, no matter where they were born

:: who honors the sacrifices of past patriots by making her own sacrifices: for example, by giving generously to the poor throughout the world, and particularly to the poorest in undeveloped nations, thereby helping to spread freedom--without violence--where it doesn't exist now

a book came into my hands recently that is really answering a need for me--a need i've felt all my life without responding to fully. it's called, The Life You Can Save, and i will be happy to loan my copy to anyone who has an interest in knowing more about charitable giving.

i will probably always be part ghost, part ponytail, but this book has made me feel a little more alive in the world where i live. it's a step toward becoming the kind of patriot i want to be.

happy independence day, friends! independence from hunger, from tyranny, and from self-loathing. bim & i give our pledge.